Throw down with Zippy, and get yourself a sarcastic, cynical, asshole-like reply! Now, for a limited time, this offer is FREE!
Vent all of your anger & direct it at Zippy!
Fun for the whole family! Tell your friends! Get known on the net!

>Date: Tue, 1 Dec 1998 22:02:48
>From: AlexESR@?????.com
>Subject: Heyla.
>Hey there Zippy,
>I understand that you are the most comical and ludicrous man alive! I mean you
>are a fucking genius. Okay man, there is one problem, how could a man be so
>fucking sick to make such an eccentric site? Oh yeah, update your site more.
>Zippy's seemingly perpetual and beefheaded response:
>Tell me something I don't know. Listen you stupid fucker, it's possible, and I
>am the most sick man alive.
>Bah, Zippy go ahead tear-apart this fucking letter like you fuckin' usually do
>to everyone. Happy Holidays, man.

Now do you think I would ever reply to a message that harshly?

>Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1998 19:49:03
>From: RevdMANSON@???????.com
>Subject: Zippy?
>Well...let me start off saying your site is real bore. (YAWN) What the fuck
>you guys on? I think your letting Blamo piss in your mouth and fucking your
>mind. But let me say you will have you day when you make it big in the web
>world. I can relate. As I started my music and went thru the shit of
>Christians trying to stop my performances, it made me more popular in the
>music world. People were curious on what all the ruckus was about. As people
>like me waste my time looking at your website and tell other friends it will
>make you popular when they visit it to see the poor educated minds "try" to
>make a website work. You should be grateful a celebrity has stopped by to see
>your website via words from friends to visit it. What a waste of time.
>Remember tear your fans down publicly they will never return. And
>thus causing your site to wilt away. Society needs more people like me doing
>something productive instead of wasting poor talents on this crap. Put your
>money you spend on this shit towards an education and make yourself more
>useful then this petty shit. Get a life. I have and making it bigger everyday.
>Put me down all you want you spectacle piece of semen off of a cockroach. I am
>bigger and more smarter then you. Besides I get paid for what I do. And I love
>the attention and hate I get towards it. I am the man that you fear......
>The God of FUCK,
>Reverend Marilyn Manson
>P.S Tell your mom to stop calling me

Kids, remember - the only thing worse than being a loser, is pretending to be a
loser. Anyway, out of the graciousness of my heart, I will immortalize this
fellow in our mailbag.
Zippie (less smarter)

>Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1998 23:48:32
>From: usa@????.????.ro
>Subject: www
> ce faci bai gras-o .
>nu mai minca atit!

Ahhhhh yes. That clears things up. We here in America also love rutabaga's.

>Date: Thu, 12 Nov 1998 16:05:35
>From: obezu@????.????.ro
>Subject: vorbe intre grasi
>bai tigane lasa fetele de liceu in pace!

I need a little help here.

>Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1998 16:50:08
>From: Rjt???????@?????.com
>Subject: help
>Zippy, first I really like your site, but hell I know you probably get a lot
>of mail so I will make it short. When I was browsing your sight today I saw
>some pics I really liked. Now my wife is a regular stick in shit when it comes
>to porn so when she visits her family I like to endulge in a little cyberporn.
>Normally I print out any pictures I like or if it is a jpg I put it on disk.
>The cartridge on my printer ran out of ink about the time I saw 4 pictures on
>your "Tina's Teeny" page 2 & 3. They are htm.s so I cannot put them on disk.
>If it were not too much trouble could you e-mail me a jpg version of these
>htm.s or put them on my e-mail in a way that I could print them out for my
>future enjoyment. Well gotta go S.I.S.(stick in shit) just got home. I have to
>eat her cooking you know, it taste according to her moods.
>Thank you for your help.

Right click on the pics, save to your hard drive, order out.

>Date: Sat, 05 Sep 1998 00:32:49 +0100
>From: John cobalt@?????.com
>Subject: Boring letters
>Dear Zippy,
>please, please, plese try to instigate a bit of humour in to your
>articles, or simply FUCK OFF. (this is how you spell humour correctly by
>the way, you stupid illiterate American fuck.)
>Have a nice day! Or simply DON'T!
>I akm Bigger than you, Cleverer than you, Sexier than you, and English!
>now get a life.

Hey John,
Let me be frank with you. Aside from Monty Python, the English have done
absolutely nothing productive in the last....ohhh...let's say 200 years
(I'm only using 200 because it's a big round number). When you're done with
your tea, and finished reading your 12 daily tabloids, I might be be of some
assistance in directing you to 1 out of 740,034 sites dedicated to the
memory of Princess Di.

Sir Zippy

>Date: Sat, 05 Sep 1998 14:08:55 -0400
>From: linda@?????.net
>Subject: Well well...
>I'm almost afraid to type anything, in fear that you'll post it and have
>a little fun with it. Ahh, what the hell. What really made me write was the
>true nerd inside of me. Frankly, you have EVERY RIGHT to tear apart the email
>messages people send to you, because not only is it your site, but people who
>cannot even write a coherent sentence are blasting you-- it's a tad ironic if
>you asked me (and you didn't ask me, I'm just pointing out the
>obvious). Can you believe how many idiots walk the face of this planet?
>I'm not a pessimist, but a realist, and I usually like to give people the
>"benefit of the doubt," but after working for the airlines for three years in the
>Dallas/Ft Worth airport, I realized that people are inherently STUPID unless you
>tell them otherwise. Yes, this message is completely pointless, and I don't care.
>Anyway, have a great holiday weekend and keep up the ever-entertaining work that
>you do. It's fun, isn't it?

Amen sister!!!!
Good god I couldn't say it any better...

>Date: Sat, 29 Aug 1998 12:11:19 -0500
>From: webmaster@?????.net
>Subject: Adding my 3.5 cents
>You have a smart tongue there "zippy".. I have something for you to do
>with it that's useful.... ;-)

Well, Belle,
I would love to oblige, and I don't intend for this reply to draw any sympathy,
but sadly enough, I lost my tongue back in '83. Yes, it was a crazy period,
but tempt anyone with a bottle of Bacardi, 17 moose, and a brand new thresher
and you are just asking for trouble. I still live a normal life though, and
with the help of my team of mind-reading chimpanzees, run a normal site.

I can say no more...

>Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 07:55:17
>From: EagerPH@?????.com
>Subject: You two
>You were very rude to Stacy in that last message and she deserves an apology you fuckers!
>Anyway, you people should visit www.?????????.com and see a real site not run by
>two loud mouths

Stacy likes our mail. So pipe down, shitbird, and bask in the glory of our free pornography.

>Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 03:56
>From: Excess576@?????.com
>Subject: cool site
> This is a cool site, but you should also update it every day. You should also
>sell t shirts I would wear one!
Hmmmmmmm, ANY free shirt designs / free shirts / free logos / free shirts printed /
with free shipping / with free detergent / to wash said free shirts / will be seriously
considered / (for free).


>Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 12:21:53 PDT
>From: "TJ White" au_miner68@*****.com
>Subject: Rapier wit???
>There is a limit as to how much rapier wit the internet can take...
> Well, I guess I would agree... but if you guys are the only source of
>it, we are in no danger of running out of room anytime soon. In fact, I
>think I still have my old C64 in a box in the gararge... I'll go get it
>and see if you'll fit.
> Well, I'm back, guess what??? Plenty of room to spare!!!
> Later, loser...

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I believe Zippy smells just another satisfied customer!!! Anyway TJ - Blamo and
myself were discussing this and we were completely unaware that you wrote you own
comedy. Please accept our sincerest apologies, and give us the number of your agent.
Our agent has been on the proverbial "rock" lately, and we could really use somebody
who doesn't smoke all our profits away.

Anyhow, sorry about the show, but put in a good word to Heather Locklear for us!!

Z and B
>Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 03:13:07
>From: StacyP10005@?????.com
>Subject: zippy's mail
> Zippy and blamo, you two are a bunch a wise assess! HAH But that is the reason
>I come to this place! I do not even want to see anymore pictures, I just want
>to read more mail. I love it! Please post some more stupid mail, or I will have to
>send you my own stupid message and then we will see what happens!!!
Stacy, babe, let me tell you something. I can read people right away. It's a gift.
And the only thing I'm reading now, is dribble. Nonsense with a capital N. Honestly.
Mail me something I can dig into, hon. This is the kind of mail I forward to Blamo.
Believe me sister, HE is neither rude, nor funny, just really itchy and touchy and
somewhat mute to the point where he doesn't ever speak. And Stace, let's NOT see
what happens. There is a limit as to how much rapier wit the internet can take....

>Date: Sat, 11 Jul 1998 13:00:32 -0700
>From: eric anderson tanderson001@?????.com
>Subject: your dumb little sign
>You know that little sign graphic at the bottom of the page? the one
>that says "This product and all graphical materials
>associated........." well...... way to spell. You spelled "with" by
>giving it an extra "h" : "WHITH"
>good job..... sounds real legal.

Did you see the logo on the main page that say's we've won a
spelling bee? Did you happen to see that? Do you know why you didn't see
a logo on the main page that says we've won a spelling bee?
Because we never won no fucking spelling bee.

- Zippy w/apologies to Q.T.

P.S. All pic are legal and the property of

>Date: Wed, 8 Jul 1998 13:06:42 EDT
>From: Jake Baurer jbaurer@?????.com
>Subject: help >Organization:
>I just wanted to let you guys know that more people come to websites
>if you list them on things like Yahoo and AltaVista.

Hi Jake!
I just want to let YOU know, that we've been to the fucking
moon buddy.

- Zippy

>Date: Thu, 9 Jul 1998 18:05:52 EDT
>Subject: Great...
> just seen your site
>what the fuck are you people on??!?!!?! You two (two?) are in
>serious need of professianal help.
>i dont understand your point you are mentally ill
>you are not funny at all and dont try to be a comedian
> it just make you guys look like assholes and wierd

Dear Surfer!

Thank you for visitng our page! With a site as new as this, we
really appreciate your feedback! We take all suggestions seriously,
and, in the future, will work to improve our site.

Now, on the other hand....

Listen to me, you maladjusted little illiterate fuck. Where
the hell do you come from to tell me how to run my site. Who the fuck died
and made you the boss of me? If I ever catch you outside I'm gonna tie the
long hair from your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down
the street. As a matter of're bannned pal. That's right.
Banned! Don't ever visit our little
page again.

Once again, thanks for your input! We're listening!

- The Management

People, try reading Amp Land's Mail
You may (or may not) get offended, but you will actually LEARN something!

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